


the way we are

by Wordlesslywriting



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Enemies to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Happy Ending, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28026816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordlesslywriting/pseuds/Wordlesslywriting
Summary: Through the ups and downs Iwaizumi has one thing figured out, life had never been the same since he met Matsukawa Issei.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei
Kudos: 9
Collections: SofA Lite





	the way we are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xingyvns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xingyvns/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [xingyvns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xingyvns/pseuds/xingyvns) in the [sofa2020lite](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sofa2020lite) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> I'm open to any length fic! Be it 500 or as large as 10k! Write to your hearts content :). I am a minor, so please no nsfw. I don't have any trigger warnings to list.

There wasn’t any reason why Iwaizumi shouldn't have passed the door without a fuss; if anything, he should have been fine. But when roadblocks were created and when he was forced to hear a thread of girls that were painfully normal for him it made him already stiff, as if the world was forcing him to get ready to endure yet another bothersome day where it included for him to endure the mass of people that were infuriated with the image they bestowed on his best friend. It had been a routine he couldn’t stomach for long periods. Ever since he met him and was stitched by the hip by the parasite, Iwaizumi couldn’t tear away from him. 

It must have been the loyalty that had been ingrained by their childhoods that kept him there. Listening. Pondering. 

To then finally, forcing himself inside the door to get past the bodies that created an organized chaos that only schools were programmed to contain. 

It didn’t take long for him to catch the sight of wavy brown hair, an airy plastic laugh to then having his hands smack the back of the head of his best friend as a reflex. (His hands knew where to aim.) The yap came as routine at the same time he was faced with an influx of girls whining about him pulling their center of their collective universes away from them. 

Figures that Iwaizumi would come to see how easy it was to have his life be uprooted by a boy like those fangirls (though thankfully not by the same fierceness of them) when he came across the name of Matsukawa Issei. 

He should have seen it coming especially when his eyes had lingered at Iwaizumi during that display and later during volleyball tryouts. 

It made him nervous that he couldn’t exactly look away too during that first day. 

_“Iwa! Tell me, what do you think of Mattsun? Hmm! Hmm!” His eyes were gleaming in the exact shade Iwaizumi hated._

Smack _!_

_“Mind your business Shittykawa.”_

Obviously it wasn’t hard to dislike people. 

It was almost a sport for Oikawa, the pettiness that he could produce was uncanny. And it wasn’t like Iwaizumi was a saint, he had been the type casted as the more serious of the duo but there had always been a reason as to why they were best friends. They understood each other. Had many late conversations that existed about them hating certain people or strangers’ actions they’ve seen happen. It had been a fact that when Matsukawa became a scheduled event Iwaizumi wasn’t sure how he felt towards him altogether. For sure they didn’t become best friends right away. 

It probably had to do with the fact that sometimes Iwaizumi hated that Matsukawa had a habit of being able to rile up Oikawa with his antics. He had a way to be sarcastic that didn’t align with his own humor. And that made it hard to understand him. Training had barely worked because their school had a reputation of having a diligent team. It meant that many first years that tried out had stayed to keep Matsukawa and Hanamaki busy with jokes and other hijinks that sometimes meant Oikawa was pulled into. 

He didn’t know how their lives became molded into a circus. Where Iwaizumi didn’t know why he cared that Matsukawa had a habit of always getting under his skin. That there was an unspoken deal for Oikawa to let someone else bother him when he wasn’t around. 

It was ridiculous. 

But they had also been just first years. Too naïve in concepts that couldn’t really be explained with flashy words from power points; and Iwaizumi had known that he couldn’t or rather, wasn’t ready to fully explore at how fragile his thoughts had started to become every morning when he heard that ghastly laugh from Oikawa when he dragged Iwaizumi to Matsukawa’s side. Days and weeks could hardly combat the way he hated how Matsukawa was able to carry on with the world with a simple nonchalant shrug. Something completely opposite from his own world where he wondered if he would ever be able to be comfortable in his shoes and life. 

Oikawa hadn’t been close to figuring it out either, but he had thought that if he looked like he had everything together that the universe would grant that wish anyways. 

(Iwaizumi however couldn’t find it in himself to be that wistful like him.)

The practice games that they participated in didn't correlate the way he still felt about Matsukawa. 

It was like a street cat that visited your neighborhood, it would meow all friendly before it would sink its claws at any poor idiot that tried to pet them a certain way. Iwaizumi felt like they spoke in two different languages. Where Matsukawa could be so friendly with his classmates, but when Iwaizumi joined the conversation it would just get colder. He knew that his patience was always tested when they made eye contact. That his jokes were designed to be a game where Iwaizumi never knew the rules so he always lost. He could never understand why Oikawa was okay with this, to let them circle each other and Matsukawa always beating him with his words. 

But that didn’t mean that he lost all the time. He had always found himself to be the victor when it came to arm wrestling or other physical challenges. 

It always made his day when he watched Matsukawa’s scrunch his forehead after a loss, since most of the time it juggled to either smug or apathetic. 

With team players like Matsukawa it made it hard to fully trust him when they shared the court. Since their footwork sometimes slipped and made them collide a lot, he could tell that Oikawa wasn’t pleased when they let their competitions get the better of them. But that was why Iwaizumi wasn’t impressed when Oikawa tried to play therapist. 

It wasn’t like he wasn’t perceptive enough to diagnose and predict how Iwaizumi would react most of the time, but when Matsukawa was involved, it just didn’t feel like he could be understood perfectly. 

And he was right. 

Sort of. 

_Listen_. 

Matsukawa had this kind of shadow that followed him. With his smug smirks irritating him. To always having to listen to his jokes ruin his studying time. It was all the little things that added up that made Iwaizumi wonder why he couldn’t have scored just a little bit better during the entrance exams so that he could have been in the same class as Oikawa. That would have been better than having to watch Matsukawa as he lived in half truths. With that plastic smile that was somehow more annoying than his best friend’s. It wasn’t attractive. 

It wasn’t even likeable. 

Which had been the reason why he knew that it had become an unnecessarily big problem when he couldn’t help but explode during training. He could remember how unusually hot that morning was when they ran their one mile warm-up. His gym clothes had been loose enough that he could properly breath between each lap. Most of the run had been normal with Iwaizumi leading in the front. 

He didn’t know why he had bothered to slow down. To let a good chunk of people pass him. Or that why he cared that Oikawa was being friendly with Matsukawa, he could only just remember that he didn’t like how devilish Oikawa could become with influences of people Iwaizumi personally didn’t like. That had been a reflex for him, to be annoyed. To yell at Oikawa to stop messing around. 

Then Matsukawa told him specifically to: “fuck off”. 

(Not uncommon. He had often told him to lay off and let Oikawa goof off. But this time. 

This time, he hated that Matsukawa had shown how little he cared about his future. He didn't do most of his homework. Barely scored enough to pass his classes so they couldn’t kick him off the team. He was clever about how lazy he could be. 

And Iwaizumi, in that time of his life, could not get along with jokesters that squandered their potentials’ for their futures. He couldn’t let Oikawa be distracted by that kind of lifestyle.

So his body moved by itself without his brain finishing his thought process.)

It took less than thirty seconds for everything to go wrong. Oikawa had made an effort to become a barrier between them, not that it helped much. 

Nothing could stop Iwaizumi’s hands when they turned to fists. 

They were only lucky that Matsukawa had the foresight to dodge the worst of it. Still. That didn’t stop for the whistle to blow and for Matsukawa’s cheek to color from the force of Iwaizumi’s knuckles.

And somehow it all made him feel worse when he locked eyes with Matsukawa when they escorted away. Because he knew that in some capacity this all could have been avoided very easily. 

Jerk. 

One week of suspension was a kind gesture. Really. When everything was put into perspective Iwaizumi could see that it could have been worse. Sure he didn’t like that the incident was now public knowledge. That somehow his best friend was running in circles in second hand guilt when he kept coming back to check on him after school and practice was over. It shouldn’t have been awkward for them. 

But that was the thing; somehow Iwaizumi was in this limbo where he didn't know what else to do. He knew that he had been in the wrong by letting his anger get the best of him, that he allowed everything to get physical. Insults were one thing. But when he had raised his fist it meant that Iwaizumi needed to reevaluate his life since he had been introduced to Matsukawa. 

He just hated that there was a great chance that Matsukawa would be itching to see a downtrodden version of himself in the process.

His hesitation was born from instinct; not as subtle as he would have liked but it had already gripped his body familiarly enough that he couldn't wash away the results. Oikawa may have been irked but it wasn't like he could change Iwaizumi’s mind. Very few times did that happen. And this one was not it. Still, he could understand that the truce between him and Matsukawa was fragile at best. 

Physically Iwaizumi could stand to be in the same room. 

Having to converse, though, that was the million dollar topic. Ever since the suspension from school and time off from the club Iwaizumi's time was too free. Besides homework and chores it left him with too much time to reflect. And it had been awful since it meant that Oikawa tended to bring up his flaws. Which coincidentally always fell around the topic of Matsukawa. Seriously, that had been torture itself.

Every time he wanted quiet something else would trigger a memory of him. His letter that he had been forced to write didn't help. Just thinking about all those lines he wrote or kept under his breath had traced themselves under his skin. Like goosebumps that pricked him when they crept into his thoughts. He could always be certain that Matsukawa had the better deal, with how nonchalant he had become when it presented an angry version of himself if they were in the same room.

Like a swing set that traveled in intervals of their moods. 

Neither could be happy if the other wasn't wallowing in frustration.

Which proved that Iwaizumi was helpless in this situation, with his conscience being a heavy burden.

And like how he predicted, his life was not mended that quickly as a form of mercy. 

Rather, Matsukawa's faded bruise was still visible when he caught a glance at him when the one week suspension was over. Their desks were curiously still close and his eyes had been downcast. Almost as if he had been drained from most of his personality. It had been an odd feeling to see that, to have him be morphed into a quiet boy; and Iwaizumi didn’t know how to feel when they caught each other’s glances. They were heavier than the stray balls Iwaizumi was used to hearing from practice. Solemn too if he didn’t flinch from the lack of intensity of them. 

It had been a sign itself that Iwaizumi had dreaded. 

Someway and somehow he had become the villain of the story. And it showed in the way Matsukawa didn’t raise his voice for that morning. Or even during lunch when the sun was at its highest and strongest, making it the perfect time for him to crack his best jokes with the class. 

Nobody had dared to tell Iwaizumi that he had been the blame to bring this gloom into their classroom, but he had been sure that it had been evident when even Hanamaki couldn’t make him laugh. 

It was a painful thing to watch, with the resident class clown reduced to such a quiet desk. 

_Two, four days had passed. Their desks were still close to each other and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure on how to fix this mess between them. Matsukawa was barely smiling and joking and somehow that was worse than before. It practically felt like a crime to let him continue on this mute chapter in his life._

_“Iwa, did you see the response letter yet?”_

_He had tentatively thought of going back to practice when he remembered that Matsukawa would attend a meeting with him with the school counselor to discuss their feelings since the one week suspension._

_“The what?”_

_Oikawa had given him a glare that was starting to remind him of his mother (and he hated that his best friend could just break that face out more fluidly as the years went on). “Mattsun had to give you a response letter since technically he did provoke the fight. Didn’t you read it? I saw him put the letter inside your desk before lunch ended.”_

_Classroom was mostly empty that Iwaizumi was able to go back to his desk and check. The envelope had seen better days as it was wrinkled and stained with ink blobs. As he opened it he couldn’t help but swallow his curses as he went through it._

_Oikawa didn’t waste any time to crowd him as he read it. He didn’t bother to hide his laugh. “You gotta be kidding me. Did he really write that?”_

_While his best friend struggled to compose himself Iwaizumi debated whether to rip in half or not. Because of course, he should have seen it. That guy always had a penchant for exposing loopholes for his amusement and finding ways to not take everything too seriously. Even when it felt like the world was burning down all its bridges._

In high school, life tended to be hyper aware of its sensitivity. Whether it stayed delicate with its inhabitants was another story. It was like the universe didn’t know how to keep the rhythm going. It would make everything too bright too fast to then give them hell. And when it came to Matsukawa it felt like whatever Iwaizumi did he couldn’t prevent the way that he was unable to escape that goddamn clown. 

Ever since the meeting, and letter Iwaizumi was still unsatisfied with how they approached each other. Because no matter what he did it always felt like it had been his fault they couldn’t without a snide comment. Without having Iwaizumi being the one to snarl from inside his head when he couldn’t concentrate during class or practice when Matsukawa made it nearly impossible to leave him alone. 

Not even after that punch that bruised him made him any less afraid to taunt him. It felt like he loved that kind of interaction with Iwaizumi. (It wasn’t just his imagination!) His gut rarely led him astray when it came to these types of feelings. Since he could always feel when Matsukawa’s eyes gleamed with mischief. After half a year under his belt Iwaizumi could just have this feeling of knowing that Matsukawa was up to no good. It didn't help that he had recruited his own partner in crime, Hanamaki for most of their pranks. 

They tended to be responsible for making class debates turn into a playroom. As if they wanted to live in a parody of sorts that real life couldn't mimic. 

Even if he stayed in his seat, it didn't take long for Matsukawa to know where Iwaizumi was. Nothing could really prevent either person from denying each other's existence. That had been why he wanted to corner him again, though without adding a detention or week suspension like before. 

He just needed to understand why Matsukawa couldn’t leave him alone. Why he had memorized the way Matsukawa’s stride could tell him when he was especially in the mood to get under Iwaizumi’s walls. 

The only excuse he had was the book report they had been assigned to work together. If it had been April or May, they would not have been able to sit together; but with summer ending Iwaizumi had managed to glare at his classmate enough that he had stayed after class. With less witness it could have been easy to say that Matsukawa had a better chance at weaseling out of their assigned work. It had been well known of his workmanship. 

But then, Iwaizumi liked to believe that he had gotten better at rounding Matsukawa enough to get him to do his part. Though getting his wisdom teeth removed had been easier. 

“I already got your address from Hanamaki. We’ll work on this after Saturday practice. No buts.”

He didn’t bother hearing a reply as he left the classroom. One way or another they were going to have to learn how to be civil with each other.

As Saturdays went, it wasn’t a scene he was used to. 

With cracked floorboards sighing every time he took a step in their corners. The walls were peeling layers off the years of paint jobs it went through while the smoke from cigarettes had stained most of the air and ceiling that no cleaning product could wipe away its history of owners. The mismatch and tacky furniture didn’t make it homely; rather, Iwaizumi felt like he was in one of those angst filled movies that Oikawa watched when he dated a movie buff that one time. 

It had been the opposite environment that Iwaizumi was used to. 

Not that it made him pause for too long since he had knocked on the apartment after he showered and ate a quick lunch after coming home to get the heavier books he refused to carry on his backpack. Matsukawa hadn’t been that forthcoming as a host, but it wasn't like he expected it. In a tense minute they had walked to the small living room slash kitchen. With them alone (seeing that Matsukawa’s parents working double shifts) the walls had taken the form of being too thin. 

As if they had been waiting for the world to listen to their high school drama. The awkwardness draped them until Iwaizumi couldn’t keep his thoughts silent.

“Why do you do it?” 

“What?”

He lowered his pencil. With careful breaths he looked at Matsukawa directly. “I seen the way you work hard on the court. Anybody with eyes can see how smart and how much fun you have during English and literature classes.” He glared harder. “All your awful jokes are grammatically and literally perfect if not very imaginative. It’s annoying actually. That you have all this…” He paused. 

With the windows closed and the thin curtains pulled back he could see the afternoon sky becoming orange. 

Matsukawa didn’t let him continue. “It’s always about potential with you people. I can’t think of a time when I can’t stop hearing everyone say that. What’s so great about being perfect? Why can’t people just let others have fun.”

“Well you need good grades to get into a great college. And a great college to get a better diploma. Hell, how else are you going to get a decent job to pay for bills and rent and food?”

Matsukawa rolled his eyes. “What’s the point in having to stress yourself to death? To live with a job you hate since you wasted a lot of money to get that degree? Why make your life so miserable and waste an opportunity to be happy?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. Opening his mouth again. 

Matsukawa beat him to it. “I’m not saying that…going to college is bad or wanting to get a degree is a total waste. But you should also see that there are alternative ways to be happy. Just because you don’t understand how someone lives their life doesn't mean you should judge them like you did.”

“I don’t…”

Matsukawa eyed him. 

“I’m not saying you have to be number one in our grade.” He closed his book as he stretched his legs. “Besides, things change. Maybe in a year or two you want different things and if you don’t at least pick up on the easy points then…”

“Alright, alright!” Matsukawa huffed. “I’ll stop slouching on our math quizzes and raise my hand a little more if you can stop being such a buzzkill. If I say we’re all going to karaoke you’ll come and sing until your throat is sore from having fun.” 

His own glare didn’t work much on him. Not when Matsukawa was making a compromise. That much didn’t change when they were in the middle of this talk. It could only be serious for so long, and that issue itself had been what made Iwaizumi worried. 

“I can take my promises seriously, you know.” He grabbed his own highlighters and went through a passage. 

As he grabbed a pen to scribble on his book, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but watch the way Matsukawa bit his own cheek as he went through a series of scribbling on his sticky notes as he placed them in certain pages for quotes. It almost felt like they could work together a bit better than yesterday. Not that he could say that everything was fixed. 

But, he couldn’t deny that it felt something did at least change for the better. Almost. 

“You know what there’s also another way you can do to get that stick out of your ass much quicker?” 

Iwaizumi blinked at him. “What?” He didn’t want to hear that smug bastard say that joke that he loved to repeat when a good moment hung around their heads.

Matsukawa didn’t bat an eye as he gave him that smirk that Iwaizumi hated the most. He could feel it coming. A large headache and curse as Matsukawa set his book aside as he moved closer to where Iwaizumi was sitting. 

“You could just admit that you like me too. It’s not like either of us hid the fact that we check each other out more times than Oikawa does with his compact mirror he has in his pocket.”

“!”

This time Matsukawa laughed. 

“Dude, come on. I’m not a blind nun, I know when I’m being checked out, and it's not like it was one-sided. Why do you think I kept zeroing on you since day one? It should be illegal that a nag like you can be so hot.” 

At the expense of Iwaizumi living through this epiphany in proximity to Matsukawa he could hear the way his body was overheating at the confession. He didn’t know whether he should have been annoyed that his heart was starting to go crazy the way Matsukawa was closer to him, but not exactly invading his space. Or the fact that he knew that Oikawa was definitely going to have his own type of fun if this came out to be a normal event between him and Matsukawa. 

Especially when Iwaizumi had already seen that Matsukawa was not exactly wrong with his assessment. It actually felt all the more madding that out of the two it had been Matsukawa to be the one to finally get him to piece together the mystery as to why Iwaizumi couldn’t ever get rid of his compulsion to think of him in the inopportune times. 

“So, what do you say? We can go bowling or catch a movie if we leave now.”

“Like going as a date?”

“Sure. Isn’t that what two people do after confessing?”

Iwaizumi found himself cleaning up the coffee table as Matsukawa was on his phone. “I didn’t technically confess to you.”

“But you didn’t deny about liking me either.”

No. He actually didn’t. “I’m game if we’re watching the latest Godzilla movie.” 


End file.
